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It’s 1864 and war time. The Congressional Republicans are lost behind enemy lines…
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Stumbling around in the jungles, they happen upon the Congressional Railroad Line, well known for shuttling the Congressional Democrats back and forth from one lost battle to the next.

The Congressional Republicans decide amongst themselves to follow the rails for awhile, because at least the way is clear, even if the direction changes from one vista to the next.
The raggedy Republicans sullenly stumble along, stepping from one crosstie to the next. Topping a steep hill, they struggle down the other side, the birdies a-churpin in the jungle on either side of the track, the blue sky dotted with succulent puffy white clouds above, everything else vibrant greens and browns…
Then, rounding a blind curve they find where the unending rails suddenly part. The rails, made of iron, brittle at the best of times, were produced by desperate men on the gubment dole, burning off the emergency war stimulus money. Now, for several yards, one of the rails is broken into foot long pieces, probably from the heating and cooling effects of sunlight. That’s all…just the simple tug and pull of nature…normally not a problem when quality is maintained.

Amusement turns to wonder as they catch the sound in the long distance of the Congressional Troop Train huffing and chuffing up the steep hill behind them. Whoomp chuff chuff. Whoomp chuff chuff…

The Congressional Railroad Tracks are broken, the train is coming, and the situation is dire. The gallant Republican Leader, quickly assesses the situation and orders up his Congressional Republican Engineers. They confer briefly, and then the Engineers begin to issue instructions. A whoop goes up amongst the men, and they quickly organize into groups. He knows that only with a great and heroic effort may the tide be turned and the day saved.
The leader backs off a ways, pointing and shouting orders, urging his men to a fever pitch of desperate ingenuity.

At last, the Congressional Republican Leader stands alone on the tracks, one hand on his hip, the other on his sword, beaming at their accomplishment. Now, nearer, having topped the hill, the train is picking up speed… Chuff chuff whoomp, chuff chuff whoomp…. Faster and faster it comes…the fireman throwing log after log into the yawning maw of the firebox…Chuff chuff whoomp, chuff chuff whoomp…

Sitting on their hastily, created bleachers, the Congressional Republicans, just inside the camouflage of the thick jungle screen of vines of green and felled ancient trees of brown, are well hidden on either side of the track. They see the puff puff of the smoke rising above the shrouding vegetation before they see the richly ornamented Congressional Locomotive. Munching on the day’s ration of parched corn and a little hardtack, the excitement mounts as they catch sight of the locomotive proper.

It’s a beast, well constructed from the best iron available, black and sleek, huge clouds of jet blue black smoke puffing from the conical stack. Faster and faster it comes… Whoomp whoomp chuff, whoomp whoomp chuff…

The wreck was…magnificent. The locomotive, seeking permanence, found impermanence, and as it derailed, it pulled the cars and even the caboose on top of it. In the end, it was great greasy burning fire that didn’t last long, really.

The last thing the wide eyed Congressional Republicans saw on the one side of the locomotive was Harry Reid, his head poked out, a lunatic death’s head grin creasing his face, and Nancy Pelosi on the other, wild eyed…elated.
Unseen by the Congressional Republicans, the Congressional Democrat troops, behind, in the string of passenger cars (the paint fading and peeling) were already hanging onto their seats for dear life, as they had been since the ride started. None even saw the broken rails, though they had long feared such a scenario greatly.

Later, the show over, the Congressional Republicans melt back into the jungle. They could but scratch their heads and wonder at what they saw, for the train seemed to actually pick up speed when the engineers saw the parted track ahead. Were the engineers loco? It would make for a good story to tell the grandchildren. Many battles lay ahead, but the tale of how the enemy derailed themselves was told many a time around the campfires.

They say that today, when you visit the place where the Congressional Democrat Troop Train derailed, (The rails long gone, it’s now a much used combo jogging and bicycle track) if you listen very carefully, lightly upon the wind, you can still hear a ghostly refrain, sung in the minor key…

Yes, we’ll rally ’round the health care flag, boys
We’ll rally ’round again
Shouting the battle cry of healthcare
We will rally from the hillside
We’ll gather from the plain
Shouting the battle cry of healthcare...

Reviews You Can Use

Industry standard reviews by real people who have used the products or services they are now crousing about.

Review by: DonWan

I was out riding around looking for work the other day when I noticed that my car needed an oil change. I seen this place called Barry’s Oil Change around and decided to go there because the sign outside said they’d do it for $14.95. That’s a real good price around here. Hell, it’s cheaper than I can do it myself and I got all the tools. So I stopped in.

Well, they took me right on in and told me to go sit down in the lounge while they changed the oil. They was real friendly like. So, I went on and set down. I dunno. I musta been in there for 45 minutes when they finally come and got me. There was a lot of cars lined up to get that oil special, so I wasn’t too mad about it.

So, the owner…Barry hisself walks up all teeth and smiling and hands me the bill. Well, I nearly swooned, and I ain’t no sissy. The bill come to percisely 8,014.95. What the blank, says I to Barry. What’s this???

Barry jes smiles an says to me that it’s a process. He says that the engine in that car wasn’t no good and they had to change it out before they could replace the oil. He says after I run it for awhile, I’ll be real glad they took care of it for me.

So I goes over there an looks. The dang engine hadn’t been changed out. It was still the same greasy nasty engine. (That’s the reason I wanted them to change the oil in the first place!)

What’s this I ax Barry?? Barry rars back laffing and says that the engine has been ordered and I ought to be glad of it.  So I ax him when is it coming in. He says to me…get this….He says it’s only gonna take 4 years!!! That’s right. You heard it. Four YEARS!

So I ax him… So, I gotta wait four years for that new engine for this 2004 car and I still gotta pay for it???

Barry says yeah…but he says they got the EZ Pay plan, an for me not to worry.

I don’t think I’m going back to get my oil changed at that  Barry’s Oil Change You Can Believe In place never again and I don’t recommend you do either.I think he told me lie.

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Interesting times… ABC News who just announced a bit of a reduction in staff…. From an arkle by By BRIAN STELTER and BILL CARTER…“ABC News is making no secret about what is behind the sweeping staff cuts it now faces: raw survival instinct.
“I just looked out at the next five years and was concerned that we could not sustain doing what we were doing,” said David Westin, the president of ABC News, as he explained the decision last week to jettison up to 400 staff members, a quarter of the news staff, in the coming months”

You and I know what was behind that. Rush has been predicting it for years. In the Wild News Kingdom, only the fittest survive. The newsbeest, instead of bulking up on tasty bits, daily opened their veins to bleed out a bit. All they had to do, as we well know, was to deliver to us, the audience, what we craved…namely news, and truth. However, the worser angels of their liberal nature was running things, and, well, we told you so! Nah-nanny-boo-boo. Dummies.

But before the staff gathered up their lunch buckets and headed for the door they produced a poignant interview with Nancy Pelosi, the leaderette of the House of Representatives and obtained some interesting material…  Straight from something called The Note Washington’s Original and Most Influential Tipsheet on the ABC News website, while it’s still online…
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she has much in common with the Tea Party.   The speaker now says she shares views with movement she dismissed last summer as being “Astroturf” –  her suggestion that the grassroots of the Tea Party were a creation of the Republican Party.  In a “This Week” interview with ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas, Pelosi said, “We share some of the views of the Tea Partiers in terms of the role of special interest in Washington, D.C., as — it just has to stop.  And that’s why I’ve fought the special interest, whether it’s on energy, whether it’s on health insurance, whether it’s on pharmaceuticals and the rest.”

The interesting but somewhat disjointed sounding part of the interview which took place over the weekend on “This Week” interview with ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas goes something like this… (The interesting parts are backlit in purple…)

VARGAS: Let’s talk a bit about the coming elections in November.  You had recently– and the Tea Party movement, do you think it will be a force to be reckoned with?  You had said last summer that it was a faux grassroots movement. You called it the Astroturf movement.

PELOSI: In some respects it is. Uh-huh.

VARGAS: Is the Tea Party movement a force?

PELOSI: No – No what I said at the time is, that they were — the Republican Party directs a lot of what the Tea Party does, but not everybody in the Tea Party takes direction from the Republican Party.  And so there was a lot of, shall we say, Astroturf, as opposed to grassroots.

But, you know, we share some of the views of the Tea Partiers in terms of the role of special interest in Washington, D.C., as — it just has to stop.  And that’s why I’ve fought the special interest, whether it’s on energy, whether it’s on health insurance, whether it’s on pharmaceuticals and the rest.

VARGAS: So, common ground with many people in the Tea Party movement.

PELOSI: Well, no, there are some.  There are some because they, again, some of it is orchestrated from the Republican headquarters.  Some of it is hijacking the good intentions of lots of people who share some of our concerns that we have about the role of special interests and many Tea Partiers, not that I speak for them, share the view, whether it’s — and Democrats, Republicans and Independents share the view that the recent Supreme Court decision, which greatly empowers the special interests, is something that they oppose.
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So, ummn…on the one hand, Nancy Pelosi has a lot in common with the TeaParty guys…but on the other hand, she wishes they would go throw themselves from a cliff and die horribly because they have no right to exist in the same space and time as she…. Hmmmn! Most interesting…

Friends, in the aminal kingdom, the strongest, bravest, most killerly lion, alligator, wildebeest, tiger, monkey, scorpion, giraffe, donkey, piss ant…you name it, becomes the leader of the pack. It says what goes. It gets the best food!

Why, the common corn weevil commands its countless inferiors whilst sitting atop the choicest piece of corn in the corn crib of ruin. King rat snarls warning from its fleshy cave amongst the tasty bits of the body politic. Even the lowly wombat soars over the heads of its lessers in its own personal jet plane stocked with all the things the wombat likes to dine upon.
The common theme here, of course, is that all the aminals must suffer while the strongest not only survives, but prospers.
Therefore how strange it is that while the little aminals have NO choice in the matter, for none of them know to take steroids to bulk up so they themselves can become the top dog, it is only the human that has a choice in the matter.
So, the very first decision by the verminous progressive liberals among us was to put the craziest, nuttiest, strangest, most vicious, craftiest, most hateful and unloving  leaders possible in control of ALL the tasty bits, knowing full well what was going to happen. And so it has.
We’re a nation of something more than 303,824,640 people, led by 535 lunatics, who are in turn led by Nancy Pelosi with her sidekick Harry Reid. Nancy has ALL the cheese, but lets Harry have a little if he’s real good. The rest get none, and LOVE it.

So, while the country suffers from historical and third world levels of unemployment and the economy is on track for a date with a buzz saw, our leaderette and her cronies writhe like a bucket of maggots awaiting their next meal of tasty bits carved from the living flesh of the nation. And the democrats put them there.
It’s a strange, strange political world we live in when the law of the jungle applies…by choice.