Opportunity in Adversity Diversity
July 29th, 2009
Permission to reprint kindly given by The Crinimal Daily News and Report–
The Crinimal Daily, is a widely read newspaper preferred by career criminals all over the United States and Mexico, specializing in theft opportunities. Below is a partial from the daily column, The Perfect Crime by staffer Vinnie X which analyzes the best daily opportunities for felonious activity.
… Things are definitely looking up on the border with Mexico. Killings and lootings potential better than average.
… Chicago inner city. Returns slight, but pickings easy.
… Muggings of cripples and anti 2nd amendment liberal sissy pantie wearing types on the New York upper east side continues to be an excellent source of revenue for the crinimal entrepeneur.
… B@E results in near killing in Crabberry, Alabama over the weekend. The victim shot low and thief, Norm Daniels, is now contemplating carrying on as Norma Daniels. He is said to be recovering nicely in the local prison hospital. We suggest steering clear of Crabbery, AL.
…BIG news in Cambridge, MA. Thieves with moving trucks from all over the nation move in on
the sleepy, rich, Obama voting, campus village. Before the Gates debacle, where Mr. Gates was rousted by racist police, thieves had to be on their best behavior.
Now, homes are wide open to looting wholesale, even in the middle of the day. Sneak thieves no longer have to sneak in Cambridge, because post Gates, NOBODY is going to call the cops to tell them crime is going on next door. We expect the lootings to be very productive until everything is stolen. Thank you brother Gates! You’re one of us!