Many years ago when I was a young man, I grew up in a cola bottling plant. It was brutal work. It was hard, dirty, and dangerous. However, it had a dignity to it and though the bosses acted like they owned you, they were never condescending. They knew how far they could push it with their cocky crew and never went beyond the bounds. It was work for hard men and harder women. In the end, it left mostly good memories and the pride of besting a tough job. At the time it paid for a house and two kids.

One of the bottling line philosophers, by the name of Willie, his bump hat always canted fashionably to the right, would often be heard to say, “Evahbody hate a liar,” and then proceed to spin out a major whopper. It was his way of joking and always good for a laugh.

Since those golden days of pain, pride, and even innocence, I have come to expect lies from our electeds. People always told me it was so, but being stubborn, I had to learn it for myself…which I did.

So, if you just got off that last bus into town, you may not know the answer to this question. How do you know when a politician is lying? Easy… Check to see if their mouth is moving.

All politicians lie to some degree or the other. It seems to go with the job. Perhaps they learn it in college. The genesis is a mystery, but the apocalypse is well known.

Republican liars are not good liars. The last time they were called on to spread the manure thickly was the last time they were in power. Often times, they would be asked to defend this spending or that spending, and they’d shine it on. Well, they weren’t there when the vote happened. Or, surely the interviewer would rather talk about some other subject….etc. etc.  In the worst case scenario, they’d pretend that they had just gone deaf and stupid. The old stone wall tactic.

Well, they paid the price for their bumbling lying foolishness. Remember, evahbody hate a liar.

Now comes the democrats. These cool kittens lie on a whole new level. They lie when the truth would actually serve better. They lie so well that they even start believing their own lies. (Republicans were never good liars because they knew you knew they were lying and that wasn’t how they were raised.)
On the other hand, it makes no difference to democrats if you know they are lying or not. That’s part of the difference between the two parties. One lies when it thinks it must, and the other lies because it likes lying. No shame.

When a Republican lies, his face might turn red, or pasty white. At the least, his eyes go out of focus, because he is working sooo very hard on something he’s no good at. When the democrat lies, it’s as natural as lopping up lobster in Maine.

Now, the interesting thing about lies is that once you start, things can get so bollixed up that it’s hard to keep track of what’s the lie and what’s the truth. Sooner, rather than later, the Republican will manage to trip himself up, with very little help.

Ah, but the democrat… The democrat effortlessly weaves and bobs his way through the minefield of lies that he spews. It’s as though he’s got a database or spreadsheet in his head that allows him to do his navigation trick. Of course, anyone with half a brain can still see the lies for what they are…but still, to see the democrat at his lying work is an awesome thing. Who but a democrat can hold a bluebird in his hand and proclaim it to the world for a redbird?

Quantifying lies is difficult when dealing with Republicans. Since they have lost their power and standing in Washington, but rarely are they driven to lies anyway. Mostly, now, they are truth tellers.

Quantifying and assessing the democrat lies, however, is dirt easy. In or out of office, their lies come with equal vigor and frequency. The secret to translating demospeak is this: Whatever they say is EXACTLY 180 degrees out. That is the same as saying that black is white, up is down, day is night, warm is cold, and sweet is sour. Whatever their words, for you to know the truth and what they really think, the solution is as simple as holding up a mirror.
If they say no, it really means yes. If they say stop, they really mean go. It’s no more difficult than that.

So, the next time you see a lying democrat, you’ll know exactly how to extract the precise truth. When you know this little trick, then the lies lose their power.