We conservatives spend a lot of time coming up with novel stories that attempt to explain lib behavior. For example, a traffic accident. A conservative and a lib are waiting for the light to change when a car slams into the light pole in front of them, ejecting the passengers through the windshield. For some odd reason both occupants of the vehicle suffer sucking chest wounds.
The conservative and lib process their responsibilities differently. The conservative walks over and place his hand over the wound on one of the victims, thus allowing him to breathe. The lib runs down the street looking for a phone to call 911 to alert the proper authorities. Later, after the ambulance has gone, both the lib and the conservative feel good about their choices. Unfortunately, while the victim the conservative attended lives and will make a full recovery, the other victim died because nobody was around to place pressure on his wound.

Even a cursory observation of liberals reveals a glaring but seeming unexplainable fact…At their very foundation, they all behave the same way. They are creatures of the same habits, much like little worker bees, slaves to the whims of the queen. If the queen says there is global warming, they shed their fur. If the queen says there is global cooling, they grow new fur. If the queen says a nearby caterpillar with several broken legs is a friend, they buzz over and spit honey into its mouth. If the queen says the caterpillar is a bad caterpillar, they fly over and sting it about 7000 times.
No original thought. They are forever prisoners of the stadium wave, a simple pixel in the broad graphic of life. 
On the other hand, more to the bright side, they have much in common with stroke victims and drunks.
If you have lived long enough, at some point you have tried to have a meaningful conversation with a drunk or stroke victim. After a time, you found that this proved impossible because even though these people were attentive, they simply did not understand what you were saying.
Whereas there would be some hope for an eventual meaningful conversation between an English speaking person and an Urdu native of Africa who only speaks Urdish, there could not be and never would be a useful exchange of data between either the English speaking person or the proud Urdu native and a drunk or massive stroke victim. The aforementioned victims see and hear, but they process the information in strange ways.

A recent study performed by the prestigious UC/AL (University of Cowchip/AL) found that the probable cause of liberalism is “arrested development.”
This from a grant of several millions of dollars of stimulus money.
The startling evidence they produced is that we are ALL born liberals. (Rush Limbaugh perhaps being the only person of note to be born conservative.)
Approximately 50-60% of all American humans outgrow this perfectly normal stage of development by their early 20′s.

The rest…sadly, remain stuck in the pre-adolescent ways of thinking. One theory is that the stunted libs, in their early childhood all ate lead containing paint chips flaking from painted window sills.

What they found in their research was the well known child developmental phenom, “Just Because” continues throughout life with the common lib.
When a child offers a theory, and is challenged for proof, the universal answer is, “Just because.”
For them, it’s a discussion ender. If pushed, they become sullen, silent, and their eyes glaze over. All parents know this to be true.
Later in life, when an adult lib offers a cockamamie theory, and is challenged by a mature conservative, all they have to offer is some version of “Just because.” If pushed they become silent, sullen, and their eyes glaze over.
The conclusion by the august research professionals at the UC/AL was that ingestion of lead containing paint chips caused the continuing and devastating condition common to ALL liberals wherein they process information differently from mature thinking conservatives. While some libs are happy in their special developmentally challenged state, others suffer from depression and confusion, sometimes caused by their own actions.

From our perspective, as long as liberals are kept from their own destructive devices, ergo, not allowed into the playroom, as had been the case until 1968 or so, the country progresses.
However, when allowed to run rampant, and even to control access to the playroom, all suffer…and none more than the liberals. Unable to manipulate the Mr. Potatohead parts they quickly become alltoghether sad, depressed, and confused. They are the first to mewl, whine, and yelp for help from responsible adult conservatives. And they mewl, whine, and yelp loudly indeed. Of course, when the conservative puts their toys back to right, the libs blame them for tearing them up in the first place and go back to tearing them up once more. 
But conservatives now know the genesis, and outcome of untethered liberals. They know all of it…now. Sometimes conservatives forget to suffer not the strange little children. For while liberals make excellent dancers and worker bees, they make lousy leaders.

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