The Zip Code of Fools begins with the number 20001 and ends at 20599. Some of those 598 DC zippers belong to Congress, and that is where resides the Zip Code of Fools.

This year, whereas the the two top agendas for congress was the economy and employment, our elected officials have wasted all year with health care. Also TARP. Also GM. Also…well, you know.
The nuclear fallout from this was that that they had NO time for the #1 agenda of all time…the agenda that actually may end all time for oxygen breathers, and that is…. GLOBAL WARMING!

I have the solution for global warming and I shall tell you now. The only reason I do not patent this,  is that I have no fear whatsoever that it would actually be implemented. Were my solution to be enacted in 2010, by 2020 nearly all of life killing U.S. global emissions would be ended.

The solution for global warming…at least in the U.S., which causes most of it, is to go totally nuclear. Nuclear produces no carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, freon, DDT, or LSD. It does produce deadly gamma rays, but those can be contained in vessels made of recycled airplane batteries.

Yes, currently, my friends, it does take at least one battery to crank up a commercial jet. Under my plan, we will do away with all commercial jets and impose rationing on all private air travel. For extremely important meetings that must be held immediately…there is … GOTOMEETING. Ok?
Ten years from now, all continental travel will be conducted on trains powered by nuclear engines, and intercontinental travel will be accomplished with passenger ships also powered by nuclear. Automobiles will come with electric motors and 30 mile long drop cords. Transfer trucks will run on bottles of cooking gas they get from Walmart.

A nice derivative, by the way, is that Air Force 1 will be downsized, at least to start, to a vintage C-130 cargo plane….and even this change has limited life as the unused airport runways crumble and sprout weeds. Eventually we’re talking the Presidential two seater.

Just like that…poof.…Now, only humans and aminals produce deadly C02 emissions, and best of all, using abortion techniques, we can whittle that down…a lot…and painlessly…except, of course, the aborted feti may feel a little pin prick…
As for the aminals…we eat them all up and abort all the new ones. Eventually, everyone will go Vegan and there won’t be nary even one deadly cow fart left to pollute our globosphere!
Now, by golly…Fault me. Heh. You can’t! My logic is infallible.
However, even though I have just now personally unveiled the final solution to end all global warming and save the earf, it shall not be implemented or enacted exactly because global warming activists LIKE to ride airplanes to far off destinations to sop up caviar and lobster and argue over their useless solutions.
Worse…the new institutions which will be the only winners in this carbon credit bullfarb will not allow my ideas to flower, because it’s all about enriching the few at the expense of the many.
Lookit…the solution is right here in front of you. Use it or shut the heck up. You pack of squeaking commie turkeys!