Posts Tagged ‘barack obama’

President Obama Photo Contest

This sort of photographic malfeasance is beneath the dignity of the MOST Conservative Website in America However, we found the image below while doing our diligent research into important matters of state. We do not know who actually crafted the grisly visage.

However, one must admit, if one is entirely truthful, that the photo lends itself to clever balloon titles. The photo is entitled, “ShutUpBarack.”

It is a sad fact of public life that when one is photographed as often as these two celebs, the planets must align in perfect synchronicity every once in awhile.  When that happens, the results are always better than ham handed Photoshop manipulations, like fake boogers hanging from the nose, etc.

ShutupBarack caught our eye… Originally Barack says tearfully, ” Michelle, I can’t take this. I can’t keep pretending I know what I’m doing!”

Michelle fires back, “You shut the he** up Barack! You are NOT going to ruin this for me!”

Well, we modified the caption boxes, as you see. We took out the text, leaving them pristine clean so that you can write in your own material.  You can use Photoshop, or even print out the photo so you can get to work with your pencil or crayon. It’s fun, and you learn a lot! It’s the first step to becoming a graphic artist or a comedy writer. Show off your personal design work to your workmates and boss or teacher.

Submit your best effort somewhere, and you most likely will win a prize!

Regarding our recent “If I Were Obama” contest…  We probably won’t do another contest any time soon because of our bad experience with this one. We just received this snitty mail from the grand prize winner Harold Lauder of Ogunquit Maine…

Dear ATP,

I am in receipt of your grand prize… A brand new Hybrid car. The pamflet that came with it says that its top speed is 47 miles per hour, but it has not moved from my driveway. You sent me the car alright – but you didn’t send the electric cord. I checked and a 40 mile long extension cord to make this dang car run is $39,999.00. I ain’t got that kind of money. I want my money back!
Yours Sincerely,
Harold Lauder

We replied…

Dear Mr. Lauder,

Your brand new car was a GIFT! You did not pay any money to us for us to send you. We suggest you consult with the nearest Hybrid car dealer for assistance.

Frankly, we don’t have time for this foolishness, so we’re officially out of the free prize business! We’ll just stick to most conservative business.

Road change you can believe in.

It takes a cool hand to fool the American people, and we know just the man to do it. Introducing Cool Hand Barack…

What we’ve got here is… failure to communicate. Check this out…

Obama Signs Border Bill to Increase Surveillance
President Obama signed into law a $600 million bill on Friday August 13th to pay for 1,500 new border agents, additional unmanned surveillance drones and new Border Patrol stations along the southwest border.

Sounds pretty nifty, huh? Folks finally getting what they want, and passed by congress on their vacation. Serious change and all of that.

When I heard this, the old 60 watt light bulb clicked on about six inches above my noggin. So why would Obama eagerly snap up legislation that he has shown a reluctance to address, what with his pressing vacation schedule and all? I have the answer, but first let me tell you a little about a strange phenomenon in Alabama.

In Alabama, our roads aren’t too bad most days. It could be because of the comparatively mild winters. You won’t find ice scrapers or tire chains in Alabama, and the roads rarely, if ever freeze down to the dirt.

Even so, roads do wear out, and when that happens, we expect a new coat of pavement. However, in Alabama, our roads only get paved every four years or so in the last couple of months leading up to ‘lection day.

It’s an old southern tradition. Perhaps it is done by incumbent politicians to aid the voting folk to be able to get to the polls without having to dodge potholes. How thoughtful! And while the voting folks (volksvoter) are voting, maybe they will appreciate their shiny new roads so much that they’ll vote for the incumbent what brung em to the voting booth.

At least that is the theory, and it has been practiced for as long as I can remember. Even back in the day, the pols would see to it that the chain gangs would lay down a fresh new layer of tar gravel.

I make a prediction. I will predict that between now and ‘lection day, our dear President Obama, may he be blessed 72 times, will more and more do things you like. Why, were it up to him, even your newborn babies would be born fully clothed!

You watch carefully. You’ll see your roads, whatever they may be, abundantly laid with a new mane of tar gravel so magnificent that you’ll jes naturally want to thank the incumbents what brung it to you.

At least, that’s the theory. Don’t be fooled. Even de man wid no eyes can see through that. He’s a tough old boy.

What would you do if you could be President Obama? I am sure you are much like me and have wished that you could be President Obama. While this is highly unlikely to happen, we can dream a little can’t we? Let’s pretend…

Thus, the AlabamaTeaParty.org website, the Most Conservative Website in America asks this question…

What would YOU do if you were President Obama?

An example would be….

Dear ATP,

If I were President Obama, I would get rid of all the spiders. Except maybe I would keep let live the garden spider, which I kind of like. And the Writing Spider which never bit anyone that I ever heard of. And my wife likes the Wolf Spider. I don’t know why. But I would let that one alone too. My address is included. Please send my prize there!

Send your comment. Also, don’t be greedy. Send the link to this page to ALL your friends. Liberals too.

Everybody LOVES contests! The winner will receive a deluxe noprize. Think about what you can do with it. But you can’t win if you don’t send in your comment!

Please don’t think this is just some lame internet ploy to increase our readership by 1000% overnight. Your noprize awaits! Be the one!