Progressives are Doomed To Repeat Themselves Repeat Themselves
Mice and Men, Goats and Sheep. We’ve got our work cut out for us.
Glenn Beck, the other night, was very fond of an old commie book that he had fast shipped to himself from a dim library way out in the woods. He said it was the only copy there was. It turned out that the author, who laid out a grand case for the current Obama five year plan, from the grave, about 75 years ago, may have been late to the communist party. He made up for it though, as he was the man who dreamed up Roosevelt’s New Deal.
Beck used this revelation as a punch line, about like one of the late night talkers would save their best joke for last. It was a good ending to his show, which had become a little sad.
I apologize for my current writing style. I just finished a good book with a really strange story behind it that I intend to share soon, if anyone cares. I think you will. It has a punch line too. In the meantime, I tend to adopt the writing style of the last good book I read.
On the subject of scurvy commies, I found this little gem in the dusty remains of the “Washington Socialst” newspaper… The Everett, Washington Socialist…
The editor in those long gone days in 1914 called his entry, “Brother Reynolds Hits Straight Out”
BROTHER REYNOLDS HITS STRAIGHT OUT.
Here are two paragraphs from Comrade Reynolds’s paper. “Tho only free press wanted in this country is freedom to say what WE think and power to suppress what the other fellow thinks. Doesn’t it work out that way? Free press spelled sup-press. Yet the safety of the people demands an absolutely free press. But the people “ain’t’ demanding it! Not yet!”
And…
For verily it is the truth that there is more rejoicing in the ranks of the Socialists over one vote gained than there is mourning over the loss of the principle sacrificed to gain it….”
“…One may forcibly drive the sheep into the flock with the goats, and vice versa; but the sheep are still sheep and the goats are still goats. Don’t let the sheep “get your goat.” Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.”
History makes no mention that I can find, of who Brother Comrade Reynolds was. Regardless, the Washington Socialist seemed to like him a great deal.
If you were having trouble with the quotes, the translation is that not unlike today, the free press was called the sup-press, although it was the left doing the yelping. Seems like the press has always taken sides.
A little further down, you read a version of, “The ends justifies the means.” Any vote against freedom is a good vote, no matter how you get it.
And finally, fellow sheep, even in 1914, our progressive cousins viewed anyone who wasn’t redder than them as animals fit only to be sheared, about like Nancy Pelosi and her flock of progressive socialists see us poor Tea Party types.
I say, bah!
So, cheer up, conservative comrades. It took awhile, but the worst did indeed come to the scurvy progressives who spent their hard earned nickel for the Washington Socialist. They got theirs. And they will again. With a little help from our oblivious friends who are even now waking up on the tracks and smelling the train coming.
We have our important political work cut out for us for at least the next two years. It’s our lot to stand up on our 4 legs and tell the goats to go graze elsewhere. Like the moon, maybe. They act, most times, like a rock fell on their head.
Most Conservative Website Asks Whatever Happened To Iraqi Information Minister Baghdad Bob?
Whatever happened to Baghdad Bob and other tales…
Now that the Iraq war is fully over and all the troops have come home, except for the a few “advisers” according to our victorious President Obama, it’s time to ask whatever happened to the only funny thing to come from the whole sorry mess, and that is none other than the much beloved Baghdad Bob, aka Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf?
Presidents have always had their helpful spokesperson helpers. Pictured above find:
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President Franklin D. Roosevelt, Lord Haw Haw of the German helper service, and Tokyo Rose of the Japan branch.
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President George Bush and his Iraqi spokesperson, Baghdad Bob
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President Barack Obama and his spokesman, Baghdad Bob Gibbs
Advice from Baghdad Bob that rings through to today:
“Don’t repeat the lies of the liars.”
It’s hard to believe, but some people walking around now may not have been alive to hear the nightly shortwave frolics of fancy by Lord Haw Haw, much less Baghdad Bob during the Gulf War II.
Baghdad Bob was the much beloved Iraqi Information Minister for the late strongman Saddam Hussein, and provided much needed comic relief as the shooting war wound down. Anyone who was keeping up with the war has fond memories of Baghdad Bob, though time may have made his actual poetic utterances a bit fuzzy.
It is to this end that we present Baghdad Bob’s most cherished sayings. While it is true that what we have here is no more than the results of scanning the internet, it’s something you may not have considered doing for yourself. But, it is a time of remembrance.
Baghdad Bob’s sayings below were gleaned principally from an excellent and patriotic website called Tankmastergunner.com. Again, while the quotes are freely available across the internet, the webmaster of Tankmastergunner took the time to compile them. Our thanks.
The video presentation is from YouTube, of course, which at the time we embedded it had shown this classic more than 308,000 times. Much like Angies List Reviews.
For some it will be nostalgia. For others, not acquainted with Baghdad Bob’s hijnks, it will be pure poetry in motion.
And still for others who don’t know who President Roosevelt is, or his helpful minions, Lord Haw Haw and Tokyo Rose, my only suggestion is to forget college and pick up a good old history book every once in awhile.
The trail of Baghdad Bob ran cold a few years ago. It is said he may be living or toes up in Qatar these days.
The War News According To Baghdad Bob
“The information was correct, but the interpretation was not,”
“The time is not yet ripe to say what happened. When history’s ready, then we can talk about it,”
“The military part of our information network – which we were accustomed to rely on for exact information – was the first part of the network to fall apart,”
“It did suffer and it became very weak, while the reporters from Iraqi radio and television stations were more active and had more accurate information.”
“It was unworthy of our military sources that they were the first to weaken.”
“a difficult situation, not for one individual, but for everybody”
about the war….
“Everyone could face something that hurts him. But I don’t expect that I will be hurt,”
“We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp”
“With respect to the situation in Al-Faw, the British told big lies. In Al-Faw, our forces’ positions remained in place.”
“These mercenaries and hirelings kidnapped civilians in the Al-Faw Peninsula so that they might claim that they captured Iraqi soldiers.”
“We counted 19 missiles that landed in a small area of Baghdad.”
(Coalition forces claimed that over 300 missiles and bombs hit Baghdad that night)
“I think that the Iraqi ground defenses shot down dozens of missiles. We are in the process of counting all these missiles quickly”
“These are not ordinary human beings. They are criminals. As a matter of fact, they are criminals, both by nature and by training. By nature, because they are not decent. They are criminals.”
“Big institutions in this imperial state, in this evil US empire, prepare their politicians to become criminals.”
“God willing, we will throw them into the sea.”
“We will get them stuck in the mud and we will certainly defeat them.”
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf,
Al-Jazeera TV 22 March
“A small number of peasants – brave peasants – shot down two Apaches”
“During the battles last night and at dawn, they [ Ba'th Socialist Party fighters] had destroyed three American helicopters”
“…..they had burnt and destroyed around 30 vehicles, including tanks and APC’s and damaged three enemy helicopters. God bless the fighters of the Arab Socialist Ba’th Party.”
“No one received them [the coalition forces] with roses.
They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets.”
“Up till now, they are only on dock No. 10, not in Umm Qasr, not in the city,”
“They want to deceive their people first because now they are in a very shabby situation,”
“It’s a small town, it has only a few docks … now they are in a trap.”
“Iraqi forces are still in control of the city, and they are engaging in an attrition war with the enemy.”
“Americans are now in disarray”
“They try to engage the world as much as they can and we will continue until they leave our land.”
“They are again in the dirt in the desert”
“They will try to enter Baghdad, and I think this is where their graveyard will be”
“Their objective is to get to the outskirts of Baghdad. So be it”
“We will see how the issue will turn out when they come to Baghdad.”
“Iraq will spread them even more and chop them up.”
“How can you lay siege to a whole country? Who is really under siege now? Baghdad cannot be besieged.”
“This boa, the American columns, are being besieged between Basra and other towns north, west, south and west of Basra. The Americans are the people who are under siege.”
“The fact is that as soon as they reach Baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them.”
“Until now they have refused to do battle with us. They are just going places.”
“One can describe them as a boa: when it feels threatened, it runs to somewhere else.”
“The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river.”
“…over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target.”
“We want to tell him [Blair] that we have not executed anybody. They are either killed in battle, most of them get killed because they are cowards anyway, the rest they just get captured.”
“Let’s go and do jihad”
“Whoever dies will be rewarded by heaven.”
“Hit them. Fight them. They are cursed; they are evil”
“We will be victorious, and they will be defeated.
“The Iraqi troops and the Iraqi fighters are in control of all the places, as we have witnessed,
No big change in that. We are fighting against them.”
“They are achieving nothing, they are suffering from casualties. Those casualties are increasing, not decreasing,”
“Fight them everywhere. Don’t give them a chance to breathe until they withdraw and retreat.”
“They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are lying to their public opinion,”
“What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places.”
“The authority of the civil defense … issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps,”
“I am not talking about the American people and the British people, I am talking about those mercenaries. … They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children.”
“I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place”
“They’ve not been able to control any Iraqi city. We’re waging war against this snake and we will be victorious.”
“They are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks. They will surrender, it is they who will surrender.”
“Make the land of Islam a burning fire that burns their faces and feet wherever they pass”
“We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our capital, as we are determined to destroy their miserable armies in every Muslim spot.”
“The criminals will be humiliated… To hurt the enemy more, raise the level of your attacks.”
“Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport,”
“Those who ran away are now outside the distant perimeter wall of the airport. Now they’re outside the wall and the heroic Republican Guard is now in control of the whole area of Saddam International Airport. So where are those villainous louts, those mercenaries?”
“The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed.”
“We have crushed the whole force which dared to venture there. They were on the runway at Saddam International Airport. That force was crushed”
“Their casualties and bodies are many. Their equipment and vehicles, several were destroyed,”
“They are still trying to bomb with artillery and rocket-propelled grenades to hit the Republican Guard who are controlling Saddam International Airport.”
“God willing we’ll slaughter them all”
“The infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad… Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes.”
“One hundred infidels committed suicide as they entered the holy city of Baghdad. Their tanks will become their tombs.”
“We will in fact encourage them to commit more suicides. We have given them death and poison.”
“There is no presence of the American columns in the city of Baghdad at all. We besieged them and we killed most of them.”
“As our leader Saddam Hussein said, “God is grilling their stomachs in hell.”
“The soldiers of Saddam Hussein have given them a lesson they will never forget,”
“These mercenaries, I swear by God, those who are still in Washington, they have sent their troops to be burned.”
“The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call … stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies.”
“Don’t repeat the lies of the liars.”
(Split screen; American tanks occupying the Baghdad parade ground, he stood calmly a couple of hundred yards away, on the roof of the Palestine Hotel, to tell reporters that none of this was really happening.)
Miscellaneous funny quotes by the Iraqi Information Minister
“We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.”
“My feelings – as usual – we will slaughter them all.”
“Our initial assessment is that they will all die.”
“These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying.”
“We will slaughter them; Bush Junior, and his international gang of bastards!”
“The insane little dwarf, Bush.”
“The midget, Bush, and that Rumsfeld deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere.”
“Bush is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they are very clever. I can’t understand how such clever people came to elect such a stupid president.”
(American Libs loved that one.)
“Bush, Blair and Rumsfeld; they are the funny trio.”
“There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!”
“I blame Al-Jazeera. They are marketing for the Americans.”
“The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!”
“Let the American infidels bask in their illusion.”
“They are most welcome. We will butcher them.”
“Saddam Hussein’s soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.”
“Washington has thrown their soldiers on the fire.”
“I speak better English than this villain, Bush.”
“Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly.”
“They are becoming hysterical. This is the result of frustration.”
“They think we are retarded. They are retarded.”
“Yesterday, we slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them.”
“Today, the tide has turned, we are destroying them.”
(War Ends)
Where are you Baghdad Bob? We miss you! Please phone home!
President Obama Best Funny Make Believe Photo
President Obama Photo Contest
This sort of photographic malfeasance is beneath the dignity of the MOST Conservative Website in America However, we found the image below while doing our diligent research into important matters of state. We do not know who actually crafted the grisly visage.
However, one must admit, if one is entirely truthful, that the photo lends itself to clever balloon titles. The photo is entitled, “ShutUpBarack.”
It is a sad fact of public life that when one is photographed as often as these two celebs, the planets must align in perfect synchronicity every once in awhile. When that happens, the results are always better than ham handed Photoshop manipulations, like fake boogers hanging from the nose, etc.
ShutupBarack caught our eye… Originally Barack says tearfully, ” Michelle, I can’t take this. I can’t keep pretending I know what I’m doing!”
Michelle fires back, “You shut the he** up Barack! You are NOT going to ruin this for me!”
Well, we modified the caption boxes, as you see. We took out the text, leaving them pristine clean so that you can write in your own material. You can use Photoshop, or even print out the photo so you can get to work with your pencil or crayon. It’s fun, and you learn a lot! It’s the first step to becoming a graphic artist or a comedy writer. Show off your personal design work to your workmates and boss or teacher.
Submit your best effort somewhere, and you most likely will win a prize!
Regarding our recent “If I Were Obama” contest… We probably won’t do another contest any time soon because of our bad experience with this one. We just received this snitty mail from the grand prize winner Harold Lauder of Ogunquit Maine…
Dear ATP,
I am in receipt of your grand prize… A brand new Hybrid car. The pamflet that came with it says that its top speed is 47 miles per hour, but it has not moved from my driveway. You sent me the car alright – but you didn’t send the electric cord. I checked and a 40 mile long extension cord to make this dang car run is $39,999.00. I ain’t got that kind of money. I want my money back!
Yours Sincerely,
Harold Lauder
We replied…
Dear Mr. Lauder,
Your brand new car was a GIFT! You did not pay any money to us for us to send you. We suggest you consult with the nearest Hybrid car dealer for assistance.
Frankly, we don’t have time for this foolishness, so we’re officially out of the free prize business! We’ll just stick to most conservative business.
