Posts Tagged ‘president obama’

President Obama Photo Contest

This sort of photographic malfeasance is beneath the dignity of the MOST Conservative Website in America However, we found the image below while doing our diligent research into important matters of state. We do not know who actually crafted the grisly visage.

However, one must admit, if one is entirely truthful, that the photo lends itself to clever balloon titles. The photo is entitled, “ShutUpBarack.”

It is a sad fact of public life that when one is photographed as often as these two celebs, the planets must align in perfect synchronicity every once in awhile.  When that happens, the results are always better than ham handed Photoshop manipulations, like fake boogers hanging from the nose, etc.

ShutupBarack caught our eye… Originally Barack says tearfully, ” Michelle, I can’t take this. I can’t keep pretending I know what I’m doing!”

Michelle fires back, “You shut the he** up Barack! You are NOT going to ruin this for me!”

Well, we modified the caption boxes, as you see. We took out the text, leaving them pristine clean so that you can write in your own material.  You can use Photoshop, or even print out the photo so you can get to work with your pencil or crayon. It’s fun, and you learn a lot! It’s the first step to becoming a graphic artist or a comedy writer. Show off your personal design work to your workmates and boss or teacher.

Submit your best effort somewhere, and you most likely will win a prize!

Regarding our recent “If I Were Obama” contest…  We probably won’t do another contest any time soon because of our bad experience with this one. We just received this snitty mail from the grand prize winner Harold Lauder of Ogunquit Maine…

Dear ATP,

I am in receipt of your grand prize… A brand new Hybrid car. The pamflet that came with it says that its top speed is 47 miles per hour, but it has not moved from my driveway. You sent me the car alright – but you didn’t send the electric cord. I checked and a 40 mile long extension cord to make this dang car run is $39,999.00. I ain’t got that kind of money. I want my money back!
Yours Sincerely,
Harold Lauder

We replied…

Dear Mr. Lauder,

Your brand new car was a GIFT! You did not pay any money to us for us to send you. We suggest you consult with the nearest Hybrid car dealer for assistance.

Frankly, we don’t have time for this foolishness, so we’re officially out of the free prize business! We’ll just stick to most conservative business.

A majority of the American people have been concerned about President Obama’s restful vacation schedule, a veritable disconnect between he and thee as the country withers under Obama’s long, hot, recovery summer.

As it turns out, insufferably long vacations are just another dormant progressive tradition brought back to full vigor. Below, find an article from what was then known as the Perrysburg Journal, circa July 1907.

America lost its journalistic innocence for good and all in the last couple of years. Even so, we have the tendency to believe that at some point back in time, news givers were honest and neutral in their reporting.

As a student of history, I realize that different time periods have different customs. I have always made allowances. Longer vacations, for example, were more common back then, for people who had the time, means, and circumstances for them.

However, lately, I have come to the conclusion that some things are universal. FOUR months vacation for the chief executive of the United States…and he’s not taking calls? And the news media gushes bully good cheer?

Read this “neutral” piece from 1907 on the subject of presidential vacations. (The author is not stated) Liken it to what you’re hearing these days, if you are one of the diminishing breed that monitors the mainstream media.

I believe the article is exactly 180 degrees out from what it should have been. I believe I would have entitled the piece, “President Takes Some Time From Busy Vacation Schedule To Do A Little Of The Nation’s Business Occasionally.”

I have always been a TR supporter, I built the graphic below, respectfully, of bits and pieces from the time.

Like you, I loved his Big Stick theory and his attitude to conservation and hunting. However, lately, as we learn of his progressive ways, he seems, now, tarnished. The article included does not improve on the growing stain.

The people who were alive in 1907, though without Rush, Glenn, Sean, and Fox News, were not stupid. Make of the article what you will.

——————————————————————

The President’s Vacation
Roosevelt Always in Touch with Affairs of the Nation

DEVOTES PART OF EVERY DAY TO PUBLIC AFFAIRS
OYSTER BAY July 1907.

Although President Roosevelt is settled down at Oyster Bay for a four months’ vacation he will not be able to escape from a good deal of the labors and duties of his job. The public business at Washington goes on just the same.

There are officials to appoint, questions of policy to decide, commissions in the army and navy to sign, many other things that no one but the president can attend to, and which President Roosevelt would let no other man attend to even if he had the power.

While he spends the summer In his modest and comfortable country house at Sagamore Hill he is obliged to devote a few hours a day often more than a few to the nation’s business.

When the president went down to Oyster Bay recently he was accompanied by Secretary Loeb, Assistant Secretary Latta, and four clerks from the executive staff at Washington.

They began work next day in the executive offices In the village of Oyster Bay, three miles from the president’s house. These offices are connected by direct wire with the executive offices adjoining the White House at Washington. The clerks at the capital are therefore in as close touch with their immediate chief, Mr. Loeb, as if he were in his own office there.

Mr. Loeb, in turn, is in constant touch with the president. The whole arrangement works out in the same manner as if the capital and all the departments had been moved from Washington to Oyster Bay.

One difference is that the president never visits the executive offices in Oyster Bay. Whatever business requires to be brought to his attention is taken up by Secretary Loeb to Sagamore Hill. Mr. Loeb goes to the president in the forenoon about 11 o’clock, after he has gone through the mall and sorted out from it the letters and official papers which need to pass under the executive eye or hand. Some days Mr. Loeb gets back to the village in time to put in an hour’s work before luncheon. More often his luncheon has to wait an hour for him.

The executive offices at “the summer capital,” as Oyster Bay folk take pride in calling their village, never fail to Impress visitors by their unpretentiousness. They consist of seven office rooms and a storeroom, into which a loft above a corner grocery has been divided. Mr. Moore, the enterprising purveyor of pure food to the villagers and surrounding gentry, is a famous man every summer. The whole country hears each summer in the press dispatches of “the executive offices over Moore’s grocery.”

Mr. Moore’s pride would be greater if the president should come down some day and transact some important piece of business there. It would be a fluke 87.

The cabinet is rarely called together in the president’s vacation, and then only to consider matters regarded as of the highest importance.

Nevertheless, in the course of a summer most of the members of the cabinet pay a visit, either of business or friendship to Sagamore Hill. They often dine and sleep there. Some of the president’s closest friends in the senate, members of the “tennis” cabinet, or literary cronies, are overnight guests. But most of Mr. Roosevelt’s visitors who call by appointment are asked to arrive in the forenoon and to stay for luncheon.

It is the impression at Oyster Bay that there will be many such visits by the closest political friends of the administration from next week on. The master of Sagamore Hill Is watching with the closest scrutiny the development of the campaign for the nomination of his successor, and it is likely that he will have frequent consultations with the leading statesmen who are devoted to him and his policies.

Road change you can believe in.

It takes a cool hand to fool the American people, and we know just the man to do it. Introducing Cool Hand Barack…

What we’ve got here is… failure to communicate. Check this out…

Obama Signs Border Bill to Increase Surveillance
President Obama signed into law a $600 million bill on Friday August 13th to pay for 1,500 new border agents, additional unmanned surveillance drones and new Border Patrol stations along the southwest border.

Sounds pretty nifty, huh? Folks finally getting what they want, and passed by congress on their vacation. Serious change and all of that.

When I heard this, the old 60 watt light bulb clicked on about six inches above my noggin. So why would Obama eagerly snap up legislation that he has shown a reluctance to address, what with his pressing vacation schedule and all? I have the answer, but first let me tell you a little about a strange phenomenon in Alabama.

In Alabama, our roads aren’t too bad most days. It could be because of the comparatively mild winters. You won’t find ice scrapers or tire chains in Alabama, and the roads rarely, if ever freeze down to the dirt.

Even so, roads do wear out, and when that happens, we expect a new coat of pavement. However, in Alabama, our roads only get paved every four years or so in the last couple of months leading up to ‘lection day.

It’s an old southern tradition. Perhaps it is done by incumbent politicians to aid the voting folk to be able to get to the polls without having to dodge potholes. How thoughtful! And while the voting folks (volksvoter) are voting, maybe they will appreciate their shiny new roads so much that they’ll vote for the incumbent what brung em to the voting booth.

At least that is the theory, and it has been practiced for as long as I can remember. Even back in the day, the pols would see to it that the chain gangs would lay down a fresh new layer of tar gravel.

I make a prediction. I will predict that between now and ‘lection day, our dear President Obama, may he be blessed 72 times, will more and more do things you like. Why, were it up to him, even your newborn babies would be born fully clothed!

You watch carefully. You’ll see your roads, whatever they may be, abundantly laid with a new mane of tar gravel so magnificent that you’ll jes naturally want to thank the incumbents what brung it to you.

At least, that’s the theory. Don’t be fooled. Even de man wid no eyes can see through that. He’s a tough old boy.

What would you do if you could be President Obama? I am sure you are much like me and have wished that you could be President Obama. While this is highly unlikely to happen, we can dream a little can’t we? Let’s pretend…

Thus, the AlabamaTeaParty.org website, the Most Conservative Website in America asks this question…

What would YOU do if you were President Obama?

An example would be….

Dear ATP,

If I were President Obama, I would get rid of all the spiders. Except maybe I would keep let live the garden spider, which I kind of like. And the Writing Spider which never bit anyone that I ever heard of. And my wife likes the Wolf Spider. I don’t know why. But I would let that one alone too. My address is included. Please send my prize there!

Send your comment. Also, don’t be greedy. Send the link to this page to ALL your friends. Liberals too.

Everybody LOVES contests! The winner will receive a deluxe noprize. Think about what you can do with it. But you can’t win if you don’t send in your comment!

Please don’t think this is just some lame internet ploy to increase our readership by 1000% overnight. Your noprize awaits! Be the one!